Explaining the Cleft

We went to a bbq on Thursday and saw a lot of our friends who hadn't seen our kids yet. A lot of people had questions and wanted to know about the NAM. I've noticed that, with the tape all over his face, most people feel a lot less awkward asking about his cleft. It gives them an opportunity to ask about what treatment we're doing instead of just asking what's wrong with his face! :) Eric and I have the schpiel down pat by now (it's a cleft bla bla bla, well it's actually pretty common bla, bla, bla, once the surgery is done he'll just have a little scar bla, bla, bla.) I don't feel any need to go into the fact that there are multiple surgeries over years. We'd rather people be impressed by what medical science can do, rather than felling sorry for the little guy.

I had a chance to explain the whole thing to a child for the first time too. He was about 7 or 8 and his parents were listening but let him ask his questions. He was really interested and it was neat to watch him try to understand. He asked if Jake was born that way and I said yes and let him know it didn't hurt. Then I explained how Jake's lip was made in two pieces instead of one like his. That seemed to make it easier for him to understand. I told him how Jake could stick his tongue all the way up his nose and he thought that was pretty funny! Once he was satisfied with the explanation, he turned to Lily and said "and she's got a really funny looking chin!" At that point his dad stepped in and said it wasn't polite to point out how funny looking people's babies were. We all had a good laugh over that!